Monday, February 23, 2009

Fabulous After 40? Don't Pressure Me!

I celebrated my 40th birthday last month (January 29th). I had no problem with turning 40, even wrote a blog about it.

But yesterday, I came across a blog with a link to an article that said: Fabulous After 40. Then it hit me. That's me. I'm in that category of women now. Women who are told that if they want to stay in shape, we'd better be ready for a challenge because after 40 a number of things happen. The one that I have a real problem with is that our metabolism slows down dramatically! This really sucks! Now I had been under weight as a kid all the way to my early 20's. I was teased my entire life for that...people called me Olive Oil (you know, Popeye's all too slim girlfriend) in school...except I am nowhere as tall as she is. Kids find things to tease about.

Then I gained 50 lbs with my 1st pregnancy! Wow that was hard! It took me quite a while to lose all of that extra weight. But even then, things never really seemed to go back where they used to be.

Then 10 years later, I had my 2nd baby. I was diligent about exercise this time around and only gained 26 lbs. But I was 10 years older and my body just has things sagging all over the place even more now. I mean clothes honestly hide alot! And I am thankful for that!

I just don't like feeling the pressure of trying to get into shape. I know I am really putting the pressure on myself. I have been known to be hard on myself. It's not like I'm over weight. I am 5'5" and 121 lbs. But I am out of shape. Those can be two different things. It means that I have more fat than muscle.

It is hard no matter what our size. I have been blessed (ya, right) in the large behind(I'mnot talking J-Lo large, but larger than I'd like) and small breast departments. Oh yes, I do feel lucky (not). I will never undergo cosmetic surgery, it's just not who I am. But I have always had a large behind and it just seems like it would be so much easier to balance out my body if I just had bigger boobs! (sigh)

All my life, I dreamed of having bigger breasts. Not Dolly Parton breasts but at least some that could produce some cleavage! But now that I am older the thought still crosses my mind when the rare occasion comes up that I have to wear a fancy dress and have nothing to fill the top with. I look at the bright side....my breasts and my knees shall never know each other! :) Hey, it's the only bright side I can think of!

Growing up, my Aunt would always joke and say to me, "what do you want, a metal or a chest to pin it on?" Do people say that anymore?

When my teenager was 4 years old, she took out one of my tiny bras and put it on and said to me, "Mommy, when I get big-girl boobs can I wear one of these?" To which I replied, "Sweetie, if you take after Mommy, you will NEVER have big-girl boobs but you'll be able to fill out a pair of jeans!" Of course she didn't really know what I was saying but now she gets it.

Don't we all kind of go about life feeling younger on the inside than we really are?
I kind of feel like Mulan (you know, the Disney cartoon movie?). When she sings that song: Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me, when will my reflection show who I am inside. This was one of my oldest FAVORITE movies when she was 3 in 1998!

I find myself looking closer at my face in the mirror, searching for signs of turning 40 that I might have missed a few weeks ago. Gotta love a chin hair, too, right? I've had one for years and it now grows in white! EEK!!!! (is that T.M.I.??) All I can say is thank you to whomever invented the tweezers!

I look how I look. Some days better than other days. I'm no super model but I'm not a complete Ugly Betty either. I hope to surprise myself and look fabulous at 50.

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90 comments:

  1. stopping by from sits
    hate being in my 40's
    chin hair yeah
    flabby arms yeah
    weight weight weight yeah
    weight with gravity yeah

    good thing
    who cares
    married to man loosing his eyesight
    silly thing thinks i still look good
    bless him LOL

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  2. Congrats on 40... definitely don't look like it! Gave you a couple ad clicks for your B-Day!

    Don't forget to check out my Daily Gif Blog...just a few days left in my first giveaway.

    DB

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  3. Well, hey there, little lady. We're the same height and wieght ( well, 5' 5 1/2"). I am also nose to nose to 40. Ol' Miss 40 pays me a visit next year. Ya gotta let me know how it goes! Thanks for supporting me on my little run around the bloggy block! :-)

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  4. 121 lbs. Sounds pretty fabulous to me.

    I am also a girl with a booty rather than a behind and a small chest so I feel you there. I'm not brave enough for a boob job, but I do love my wonder bra.

    Happy 40th by the way.

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  5. What a great post. Thanks for being so honest. I am sure that you look great at 40!
    Have a great SITS day.

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  6. I don't think you look 40 at all, either! Next week is my 37th b-day and it has really hit me that I will be in my late 30s. What? I still feel like I am 12. I have no idea what I am doing! Who made me a mother anyhow? And just so ya know...my family always said that do you want a medal comment to me, too.
    Came over from SITS to say hi!

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  7. I think 40 is kind of hard. I'll be 39 this June, so it's getting close. My hubby turned 40 in Oct. It sounds like you are in good shape, we're not 18 anymore. That's the way I look at it. I feel like I'm in better shape than some people younger than me. I'm 5'3" & weigh 121. I'm with you on the no chest club. I've gotten lots of comments over the years & at 38 it still bothers me. I have an 18 month old daughter & think what if her chest is bigger than mine (or what if she's taller than me)? I know prob kind of weird to think about this early. But I am the Mom. It would be weird to have to look up to her cause she's taller.

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  8. I'm with ya, girl! I am on the skinny side and so out of shape but people think because I am skinny...I must be in great shape! Not!...my goal this year, in my 39th year, is to build up some muscle which hopefully will translate into strength and stamina. Thanks for stopping by my blog..

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  9. LOL, Rhonda, I'll happily give you some of my extra top in trade for a bit of your booty...I'm overweight but my rear has gone missing.

    I'll be 40 on December 30th this year and I already feel the change coming. I too look in the mirror to see if there is anything new on my face, no hair yet but I'm prepared to grab some wax when that happens.

    You look amazing! Even though I cannot relate to being your weight, I do have a friend who is about your height and very small. She looked fit but admits she wasn't in shape...two years ago she started jogging and lifting weights and now, at 41, she's all buff and toned.

    Health is important, it's not about appearance at our age (it should never be in the first place), it's about taking care of our insides--outer appearance is the secondary result proper eating and exercise.

    Have a Happy SITS day!

    ~ Sandy

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  10. Hello SitSta! I'm still trying to look Fab at almost 27....being a woman is tough.

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  11. You look great! Love the breast/knee comment. I just have deflated ones but I won't do anything about it. I don't want to send the message to my boys that perfect, filled out round breasts are all that is acceptable and beautiful. Not judging others this is just my take on it. So I will join you on doing this age thing gracefully ;)

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  12. It's always good to have a sense of humor about these things, and clearly you do! :o)

    Happy SITS day!

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  13. You are definitely going to look fabulous at 50!

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  14. Of course you're fab at 40 and beyond! We all have our days (months, years, whatever) when we don't feel we look so great, but I think it's vitally important that we talk about our bodies in a positive way with our daughters. My mom used to subtly put herself down a lot and I try to be more conscious not to do that. It's not easy, but I think one of the secrets to looking and feeling great is to embrace (rather than merely accept) the way we look at this moment.

    Happy SITS day!

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  15. Hi www.greedygirlsguide.com checking in from SITS.

    From the Pic you do look Fab at 40, so enjoy

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  16. I'm 45. I'm o.k. with the age..it's the number I don't especially like. Well, as long as I don't say it out loud I suppose...45!!! What me??? Noooooooo.. That's impossible, how did I get there. Yesterday I was only 36 and now I'm 45...And you know what? I think I'll still be saying the same at 85...85 ME??

    But girls, I'm telling you, DO work-out..It's not only good for your body it's fabulous for your mind as well (and it helps with insomnia darling)..I feel so much better after working out!

    After 40, the gym is no longer an option, it's a must. Of course that's if you want to look fabulous until you're 85.. My goal is to continue teaching Spinning classes at 85 and prove the world that age is really just a number. Yes mam!! ;0)

    Anyways, all I meant to say is; have a happy SITS day!! :)

    P.S. And you do look fabulous!!

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  17. You WILL look fabulous after 50! Great blog and happy SITS day! I am in the same boat as you (43) and I too see lines and grey hairs that were never there before. My trump card (in my mind) is that I don't overdo it in the sun. I am hoping that cuts me some slack in the "lookin her years" department!

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  18. Stopping by from SITS and to say you are fabulous after 40 judging by your photos. But I hear you! And it doesn't get any easier but it beats the alternative, right?

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  19. You sound pretty darn fabulous to me!! (No pressure, really!) And now you're being featured on SITS for the day, that's pretty darn fabulous!

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  20. I'll be 41 in Oct and I think the "40's" are FAB. I too need to (and have been some) start working out b/c I'm not that 118lb 30 y.o. anymore.

    40 ROCKS!

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  21. !!!
    I can't believe what your Aunt said. That cracks me up and stuns me at the same time! I've never heard that...

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  22. SITSta here. I just turned 42 ... have big breasts and always wanted smaller. I unfortunately know what you are talking about when you say they meet the knees -- well the top of my jeans anyway. TMI! Well, almost ... anyway.

    I feel great though and refuse to let a number dictate. Now you are old enough to be secure in who you are. I love the 40's (so far). :o)

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  23. I'm 42. And I have just as much on top as I do on the bottom. So, at least I'm balanced, somewhat.

    But man, losing weight and getting in shape is so much harder now that it was even 6 years ago.

    UGH.

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  24. I'm 37 and 3 years ago gave birth to twins (my second round kids). I've been struggling trying to lose 10 pounds. I think the closer I get to 40 the harder it will be, but I'm still going to try. Besides I like to exercise, it makes me feel alive. I know I'm still fabulous!

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  25. Over from SITS, getting older is never fun, you do look fab for 40 but I can just tell every year my body hurts a little bit more and I get aches and pains in places I didn't have before. Such a reminder!!! I do believe its mostly mental and we have to focus on the positive, cheers to that! :)

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  26. Wait until you get near 50! I think you'll enjoy this post:

    http://ungirdledpassion.blogspot.com/2009/07/symptoms-of-menopause-perimenopause.html and this one:

    http://ungirdledpassion.blogspot.com/2009/05/grim-hairy-tails-rapunzels-got-nothing.html

    HAPPY SITS!

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  27. Hey girl, I know where your coming from. But it seems noone is every happy about what they look like. I surely am not happy with the things my body is doing at 46, but everyone tells me how great I look. I don't buy it!! You do what you need to do to make YOU feel good about yourself. And honey, Get those boobs you really want. I does make a difference.

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  28. I know exactly what you are saying - I'll be 40 later this month and things do seem harder regarding getting in shape. My problem area is my belly weight. And, my gray hair (which I get colored every 4 weeks - it's a real pain to keep up with.

    Happy belated birthday to ya!

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  29. It helps me when I think about being 42 is knowing that I nowhere near look that old. I've been "overweight" my whole life and I felt bad about it a long time. Until I saw pictures of my great-grandmother. She was a German immigrant and all I had heard about her before seeing her picture was that she worked hard and she expected those around her to work hard. I look just like her. So I just tell people I'm from hearty German peasant stock!

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  30. If only I look that good at 40! But seriously, you are blessed, becuase if you and I could give eachother a little of our ASSests, we would be proportionate!! lol Believe me, the whole Boobs will never meet the knees thing is a blessing, because I am 27 with 2 kids who were breast fed, and My girls and My belly button have an intimate relationship. Just sayin...
    Happy SITSday!!

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  31. I got all the kids in our family trained. "How old is Auntie?"

    "29!" [Am 35]

    "Good job kids, here's some a $10."

    Haha!!

    It is what is is daw'lin, in ten years you are going to long for only one chin hair!

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  32. Love this post, it is sooo true! But I must say that you DO NOT look like you are 40!!

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  33. I have teeny tiny boobies too. :) I do have to say, I've appreciated it when breastfeeding; I never have those issues women with big breasts have. My nursing boobs look great! I'm looking forward to weaning my little guy...but I'm dreading what my boobs will look like!!!

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  34. Stopping in from SITS-have a great day!

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  35. I am 13 months away from 40. It is freakin me out!

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  36. Happy SITS Day! from someone who has passed the 40 year mark & I have to say it ain't that bad.

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  37. hope you have a super SITS day! i think you're fab at 40!

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  38. I will be turning 40 in less than a month and am dreading it! Definately feel the body changing. Have been dealing w/ the whole no sleep issue too (I've blogged about it-we need a support group-we can all get online at 3am and chat). I also have teens (3 and 1-20y/o). I loved your blog about your teen surprizing you...it's great to feel appreciated by them every great once and a while! congrats on your SITS day!

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  39. I know exactly what you mean! I'm pushing 40, and I have had this weight that has come out of nowhere! No chin hair yet, but my sister is a hairdresser and has warned me about them! can't wait! NOT!

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  40. I just rolled over the 50 mark - still hard to believe, but you are right ... that metabolism thing sucks!

    Hope you had a great feature day.

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  41. another great post. My big-boobied, flat-butted 41-and-grateful-for-it self is following you :-)

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  42. Fantastic post. I love your honesty. I think it really doesn't matter you size; as long as your healthy and you and you partner are happy. I have always thought that those magazines are just there to make the average woman or girl feel insecure about themselves. I don't read them at all, I just stick to the gossip mags when getting my hair and nails done. :)

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  43. Dropping in from SITS.

    Love your post.

    I am a few weeks away from 39. I wrote this post not long ago:

    http://www.writingmomof3.com/2009/07/im-really-old.html

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  44. Congrats on 40! I wouldn't be worried about that at all. You look fantastic!

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  45. Eh, don't worry about 40! You'll rock it out just fine :)

    Happy SITS Day!!!

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  46. Congratulations on 40! Honestly the 40's are great. I'm 47 and these have been some of the best years of my life. Yes, there are some changes that are hard - I've always been slim and around 45 I really had to start working on staying that way. I haven't been totally successful. But, I'm so happy, and so fulfilled, and I *so* don't care what anyone thinks anymore. That makes it all worthwhile.

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  47. Oh, my. I could have written this. I am a year behind you age wise, same height, weight and apparently same bra size, too. Are we twins?

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  48. I'm 33 and I have chin hairs!! My husband always spots them before me and plucks them out with his fingers!!! :-/

    Happy SITS day.

    LBM x

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  49. This is too funny... I have the opposit problem though, NO butt to fill out the jeans, and my boobies are on their way to meet the knees! :-(
    I, too have that chin hair and it comes in 1/2 white, too. My boys call it my "Witchy Hair".

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  50. Congratulations on 40, and Happy Belated Birthday!

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  51. Happy SITS day.

    two words: Victoria's Secret!
    I hit 50 this year....

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  52. Stopping by from SITS
    OH how we beat ourselves up! I have always longed for cleavage too...I write and illustrate on the topic of self-esteem and body image for women.I think you might enjoy my work http://moretolove.net and my blog is all about learning to love our flaws...be gentle on yourself because you ARE beautiful at every age!

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  53. Happy SITS day! I'm hoping I look as fabulous as my mom does when I get older. But I also hope I can learn to not be quite as preoccupied with how I look as I currently am.

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  54. Gosh, based off of your profile pic you look like Carrie Underwood, I never would have guessed you were 40!

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  55. I hear ya! I had my daughter at the tender age of 41, gained 50 lbs during my pregnancy as well and still have about 20 pounds to lose - she is now 2 and a half. I am sagging inside and out! Oh well, it's worth it.

    Happy SITS Day!

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  56. Yeah, that mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the youngest looking of them all business can really mess with you. I think age is all in your mind. As long as you're filled with a sense of wonder and excitement about life you'll always be young.

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  57. First off you look fabulous at 40 if you ask me. Now, I am just turning 30 so I am by no means trying to act as though I know how you feel. Don't stress about your age. It is only a number. It's how you feel inside and the confidence you portray. Even at the age of 30, after 3 kids in 4 years, things just dont look the same as they once did. And i weigh the same. I swear I think my boobs have gotten smaller, if that's possible. Maybe just saggy!!! LOL! That's life I guess. Anyway 40 is suppose to be the new 20. To be honest I wouldn't want to be 20 again. Things change for the better. I have more wisdom and confidence than i ever had.

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  58. SITS sista here...
    Ha, well at least you can laugh a little about it! I just say, own what you have got. Most people can't control very much in their appearance-- be it weight, looks, hair, ect. We have what we have. Be thankful for what you have been given. 40 years of NOT having to stress about every calorie b/c your body burns fat better than others. Im 24 and have been on a strict workout regimen since I was 13 to MAINTAIN my nearly 200lb body...yeah, hard, grueling work just to be semi-normal. I cannot IMAGINE what I will have to do to stay in shape at 40...maybe work out 8 hours a day??? Ha ha but, no use complaining, just work with what you got!

    Good luck!

    -robin
    www.robingillis.blogspot.com

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  59. I can completely sympathize with you. I have boys, but when they were little, then knew only too well about women's breasts. My middle son told me one day that even KEITH has bigger boobs than you do! Nothing like that to make you feel better :) Stopping by from SITS!

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  60. I read the funniest blog the other day that said we are all 18 on the inside (which explains a lot about our political leaders and the Hollywood crazies) and I think I agree. I still feel so young, and here I am nearing 30 *gasp* But I figure it is how you feel and act that tells your real age. I know I will have lots and lots of sagging... I already have to wear 2 bras to get the lift and support I need. Heaven help me in 10-15 years!
    Loved your reminiscent. Enjoy 40, you are still so young, and judging by your pictures, you are still gorgeous!

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  61. Actually 40 was a good year for me... I finished my graduate degree, and, oh yeah, got pregnant with twins!

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  62. I just turned 36 in May and no longer can check off the box next to the "cool group" of 26-35 on questionnaires. That was a sobering moment for me!

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  63. Happy sits day! Love this post! I turned 30 this year (I know - you are probably thinking "get over it!!! you're only 30!) but it was still a big milestone for me. Having 3 kids before 30, I feel like my body has aged dramatically since my early 20's!!!

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  64. I need to have your attitude! I'll be 30 next year, and I'm a little nervous about leaving the 20s behind. ;) Happy SITS Day!

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  65. I would take your weight any day honey! But I understand...no matter what body size we are we will always find something that makes us unhappy about ourselves

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  66. i thought 40 was the new 30?! Who cares what the media says about aging, you're gorgeous and have a wonderful life...HAPPY SITS DAY!

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  67. Hello SITSta! Sounds like you are taking 40 in stride. Remember, age is just a number. It only means how long we've been around, and has no bearing on how we feel about ourselves. You know what they say, you're only as old as you feel.

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  68. Happy SITS Day!
    * Following your blog now :-)

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  69. Happy SITS Day! You seem to be handling your 40s with class!!

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  70. I have a similar body...and have always thought that bigger boobs would make me look more in proportion...but after I started nursing and my ladies got 2 sizes bigger, now I want my old little ladies back. I just feel fatter most of the time! Dont knock a good set of knockers :)

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  71. tiny ti...boobies
    big behind
    checkin in to say happy sits day!

    i'm (trying) to learn to love being a pear in all its glory. like you said...at least we look amazing in a pair of jeans!

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  72. you look great at 40... happy sits fb day!

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  73. You look fab! It was nice to "meet" you through SITS!

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  74. After three kids my body certainly is not as firm as it used to be....I feel determined to prove those statistics wrong. That just because we're getting older we have to start gaining weight...maybe someday I'll start working out to make sure that doesn't happen. ;)

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  75. I honestly don't think you'll have any problems looking fabulous at 50. You are GORGEOUS!!!

    Happy SITS day!

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  76. I turned 40 this year too. I finally appreciate having oily skin, I might have to powder more often but I don't have any wrinkles. And thanks to Miss Clairol I can still pass for 30 something ;). Guess I'll just call myself a cougar LOL!

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  77. You mean it gets even harder to stay in shape once you hit 40? Oy...

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  78. You look great!

    When I was in my 40's I was concerned about how I looked and started gaining weight and feeling bad about myself etc., probably because I was thinking so much about it.

    Because of being sensitive to chemicals I decided to NOT dye my hair anymore and because of money restraints have not visited a Hair Saloon for years. Now, I LOVE my white long hair, split ends and all and really don't care that I am "Pleasantly Plump" like a Sweet Grandma should be... My husband thinks I am VERY sexy and he is 16 years younger than me! He thinks women wear way to much makeup and are way to phony. He appreciates the fact that I come from my Heart instead of trying to keep up with the World's Hype about "What Sexy is"... :)

    I'm sure you will look FAB at 50 if you concentrate on your "Inner Qualities".

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  79. I have the big bottom too...but for me it's the big everywhere.

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  80. You look amazing for 40! It has been great getting to know you through your posts! I am pretty new to SITS but it seems like a great place to be!

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  81. My 30th were my most wonderful years. Sexy, good looking, great career and no children yet.
    Turning 40 was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Now I am 53 and I must say, 50 is the new 30 for me, but different. Maybe because I have 15 year old twin boys do I feel younger.
    What comes with age is the realization that I do not have to spend my time with people that I do not enjoy, it's a whole new thing. A lot of things suddenly don't really matter so much anymore. So what if I have gained a few pounds, it's alright, I'll find a blouse for that, haha. Lovely

    Happy SITS day :)

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  82. Your FABULOUS!!!! Don't let anyone tell you any differently :) Happy SITS Day to you!

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