I celebrated my 40th birthday last month (January 29th). I had no problem with turning 40, even wrote a blog about it.
But yesterday, I came across a blog with a link to an article that said: Fabulous After 40. Then it hit me. That's me. I'm in that category of women now. Women who are told that if they want to stay in shape, we'd better be ready for a challenge because after 40 a number of things happen. The one that I have a real problem with is that our metabolism slows down dramatically! This really sucks! Now I had been under weight as a kid all the way to my early 20's. I was teased my entire life for that...people called me Olive Oil (you know, Popeye's all too slim girlfriend) in school...except I am nowhere as tall as she is. Kids find things to tease about.
Then I gained 50 lbs with my 1st pregnancy! Wow that was hard! It took me quite a while to lose all of that extra weight. But even then, things never really seemed to go back where they used to be.
Then 10 years later, I had my 2nd baby. I was diligent about exercise this time around and only gained 26 lbs. But I was 10 years older and my body just has things sagging all over the place even more now. I mean clothes honestly hide alot! And I am thankful for that!
I just don't like feeling the pressure of trying to get into shape. I know I am really putting the pressure on myself. I have been known to be hard on myself. It's not like I'm over weight. I am 5'5" and 121 lbs. But I am out of shape. Those can be two different things. It means that I have more fat than muscle.
It is hard no matter what our size. I have been blessed (ya, right) in the large behind(I'mnot talking J-Lo large, but larger than I'd like) and small breast departments. Oh yes, I do feel lucky (not). I will never undergo cosmetic surgery, it's just not who I am. But I have always had a large behind and it just seems like it would be so much easier to balance out my body if I just had bigger boobs! (sigh)
All my life, I dreamed of having bigger breasts. Not Dolly Parton breasts but at least some that could produce some cleavage! But now that I am older the thought still crosses my mind when the rare occasion comes up that I have to wear a fancy dress and have nothing to fill the top with. I look at the bright side....my breasts and my knees shall never know each other! :) Hey, it's the only bright side I can think of!
Growing up, my Aunt would always joke and say to me, "what do you want, a metal or a chest to pin it on?" Do people say that anymore?
When my teenager was 4 years old, she took out one of my tiny bras and put it on and said to me, "Mommy, when I get big-girl boobs can I wear one of these?" To which I replied, "Sweetie, if you take after Mommy, you will NEVER have big-girl boobs but you'll be able to fill out a pair of jeans!" Of course she didn't really know what I was saying but now she gets it.
Don't we all kind of go about life feeling younger on the inside than we really are?
I kind of feel like Mulan (you know, the Disney cartoon movie?). When she sings that song: Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me, when will my reflection show who I am inside. This was one of my oldest FAVORITE movies when she was 3 in 1998!
I find myself looking closer at my face in the mirror, searching for signs of turning 40 that I might have missed a few weeks ago. Gotta love a chin hair, too, right? I've had one for years and it now grows in white! EEK!!!! (is that T.M.I.??) All I can say is thank you to whomever invented the tweezers!
I look how I look. Some days better than other days. I'm no super model but I'm not a complete Ugly Betty either. I hope to surprise myself and look fabulous at 50.
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